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Tips for travellers

to Scandinavia or elsewhere

  • I flew from Portland to San Francisco to Zurich to Oslo. Do not do this.

  • The vegetarian meals on SwissAir are just meant as punishment.

  • On the whole, Oslo is full of helpful people.

  • Oslo has many cobblestones. Keep in mind when wearing clogs.

  • Not all Norwegians are blond. However, they are all more beautiful and athletic than you.

  • Be sure to ascertain before purchase whether friends left at home really want a trio of troll figurines.

  • The same goes for troll socks, troll magnets, troll t-shirts, troll bottle openers, troll pins, troll snowglobes, troll pens, small novelty street signs with troll silhouettes, troll handbags, troll bumperstickers, troll boxer shorts, troll dolls and troll earrings.

  • See the previous 2 sentences, but replace "troll" with "moose."

  • Now replace "moose" with "Jens Stoltenberg."

  • Copyright © 2000, 2001 Emily Slatten; about framheim; about the pictures