Tips for travellers
to Scandinavia or elsewhere
I flew from Portland to San Francisco to Zurich to Oslo. Do not do this.
The vegetarian meals on SwissAir are just meant as punishment.
On the whole, Oslo is full of helpful people.
Oslo has many cobblestones. Keep in mind when wearing clogs.
Not all Norwegians are blond. However, they are all more beautiful and athletic than you.
Be sure to ascertain before purchase whether friends left at home really want a trio of troll figurines.
The same goes for troll socks, troll magnets, troll t-shirts, troll bottle openers, troll pins, troll snowglobes, troll pens, small novelty street signs with troll silhouettes, troll handbags, troll bumperstickers, troll boxer shorts, troll dolls and troll earrings.
See the previous 2 sentences, but replace "troll" with "moose."
Now replace "moose" with "Jens Stoltenberg."